The mysterious boundary between wakefulness and sleep has always triggered dread. Even the word “nightmare” derives from the demons once believed to clamber onto the chests of sleeping victims. So, when a pale, dark-haired wraith with long, frightening claws loomed over one dreamer, the creature was taken aback when Tay, a 35-year-old from California's Bay Area, asked whether it wanted to have sex with her.
“It was surprised at my boldness and agreed,” she says. “I never saw it again.”
It was far from Tay's only supernatural tryst. She belongs to an online succubus community, where occultists trade tips on courting amorous night demons. Across Reddit, Discord and obscure internet forums, practitioners share stories of conjuring metaphysical companions for friendship or something more. Through lucid dreams and self-induced trance states, they describe invisible claws raking their backs, ecstatic caresses from interlocking “energy tendrils”, and journeys to more erotically charged planes of existence.
Some mages claim to have harems of spiritual spouses in the astral realm. Others say they have married their incorporeal lovers or sired spirit children with them. A few have renounced human relationships altogether.
“I've tried to combine having spirit lovers and physical lovers before,” says Alice, a 40-year-old chaos magician, a strand of practical occultism that adopts techniques from many paths. “It became such a hassle I chose the spirits.”
Once, aspiring demon-philanders might have searched out forbidden grimoires to strike their lusty bargains. Today, the instructions are only a few clicks away — or available to buy on Etsy. A typical ritual involves writing a letter to Lilith, the queen of the succubi, before setting the missive alight.
Yugen, 30, from Phoenix, Arizona, came across the community while researching astral projection online. “I got very curious that someone could be in a relationship with an entity,” he says. “They said these beings were capable of super-powerful love, companionship, and love-making that was out of this world. I made up my mind and followed a basic summoning ritual and that's how I met my first wife at the age of 17.”
“The intimacy is mind-blowing because the limitations and boundaries of the physical realm aren't an issue,” he says. Since that first contact, Yugen has entered relationships with two other "female entities", alongside his “human wife”.
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